Burnout Taught Me a Different Kind of Wealth
Lake Merritt, Oakland, CA, USA
If you’ve been a part of my little corner on the internet for a while, you know that burnout is an intimate part of my adulthood and career journey. It emerged at my very first job at a startup in Silicon Valley and set me off on a cycle of rupture and mending for 14 years. In 2021 I decided I’d had enough of my fractured, fried life. I took a one year career break in 2022 to reset my trajectory.
Community, in its myriad of forms, was the consistent thread that held me together through that broken journey.
My first housemates in the San Francisco Bay Area who spotted me financially until I got a job after moving there
The young adult group at church where I experienced my creative and spiritual gifts as part of a community constellation
My housemate (I’ve had many!), and still dear friend, who journeyed with me emotionally and economically when I left my first job without another one lined up
Every colleague who has seen me cry at the office, or on a computer screen, and offered a kind word
Every colleague who made me laugh when we were crushed under 7 day work weeks
A former colleague (and still dear friend) who always gave me a ride home after long work days
My group of friends who witnessed my roller coaster career and gave me permission and valor to choose myself over jobs that didn’t value or support me
My friends with whom I danced under the stars in Oakland and braved (and survived) a 2.5 day non-stop road trip from California to Texas (NOT recommended to drive round the clock without stopping unless you desperately have to. We have some epic stories though!)*
My cohort peers in San Jose with whom I shared bank accounts, Bible studies and the minutiae of domestic life for two years
My family in the U.S. and Ghana who have always provided me a soft place to land in the breaks, in-betweens and uncertainty
Over the course of my adulthood my finances have been up, down, back again, sideways, uncertain, and at times down right miraculous, but my wealth in the form of community has always been steady.
In the U.S., we often only think about wealth in terms of numbers. Net worth is celebrated. The mythology of a lone figure’s climb to the top lauded. This story, however, cloaks the truth that, even if not acknowledged, we’re always part of a constellation, a web – like interwoven fabric.
As humans, we’re not meant to live alone. We don’t survive or thrive solo. Reflecting on the many Sundays where anxiety roiled through my belly as I thought about Monday, gathering with my people was always a balm. Long lazy days of laughter in the park with friends. Chopping and chatting during communal weekly meal prep. Running errands around town together.
No matter what stood before me Monday through Friday (or during some seasons Sunday through Saturday), my community reminded me that I was not my job. I was not my labor. They helped me see and know that I mattered infinitely outside of a paycheck. They tethered me to my humanity and gave me courage to endure, speak up or exit when my workplaces refused to support my well-being.
My community tethered me to my humanity and gave me courage to endure, speak up or exit when my workplaces refused to support my well-being.
Maybe you regularly consider your financial investments, but when was the last time you considered your investment in your communal life? I don’t mean in a transactional or professional networking sense, but rather in terms of your quality of life.
Money can solve many problems, but I’m convinced that there are fractures that no financial amount can repair. There are some wounds that can only be salved by the potent, comforting silence of souls who are at peace in one another’s presence. There are some riches that can only be reaped when they’re shared. And sometimes splitting what you have in halves or thirds or quarters, multiples rather than subtracts.
For Reflection
Who are your people and community with whom you weather the ups and downs of life? Take some time to write and send some words of gratitude to them this Sunday.
How can you invest in your communal life, relationships or community?
As always, I’m wishing you hope, courage and imagination as you reflect. If you feel led to share your thoughts, I’d love to hear them in the comments or via DM.
*For those not familiar with U.S. geography, the distance from Oakland, CA to Houston, TX is about 1,915 miles or 3,082 kilometers. It’s equivalent to driving from the border the US shares with Canada to the north to the border with Mexico in the south and back again. In other, it’s NOT a trip wise people not in crisis take in 2.5 days!
If you’re returning from a sabbatical or career break…
You know that something important has changed for you. You know that you can’t just go back to your life as it was before, but what does that actually mean and look like? How do you take the transformation from your career break and make it last?
The Returning with Intention Career Break Re-entry workshop is a contemplative experience to help you re-integrate into your post sabbatical life and work led by the values and insights your break has given you.
What you’ll leave with:
Greater clarity about what matters most to you now
A deeper understanding of how your sabbatical changed you
Practical next steps for integrating its lessons into your life and work
Learn more: https://nyamadodoadji.myflodesk.com/reentry